ive decided that im not going to let this boy run my life. after a lengthy conversation on the phone from a really good friend that i had to leave behind in jersey when i moved, i realized theres really nothing i can do with this guy anyways. im hundreds of miles away and hes sitting there with his girlfriend looking all nice and pretty, well, in a way that they can. i realized that i have to suck up whatever feelings that ive had for him and just throw them away because he was a complete ass and i really dont need him in my life. all my friends were right when they told me that moving on was the best thing. i dont think i should have spent that day with him before i moved because it just made everything worse then it really could have been. we could have kept what we were doing, just ignoring each other and not talk to the other and everything would have been fine. so essentially this whole fiasco of my heart is my fault because i was the stupid one that texted him that one day apologizing for what has been going on for the past year and a half.
but not anymore. im becoming a new me. well not a new me, just an improved one. i cant let him get in the way of how i interact with other guys. im going to a new school this year and i will be a senior. this is my chance to shine. i can be anybody who i want to be. and i choose to be someone who doesnt let a past 'love' get in the way of her dating as many guys as she wants. im taking charge of my heart and if he doesnt give back the sliver that i gave him, well screw him. i dont need him and i could do much better without him.
No comments:
Post a Comment